“If I had a nickle …”

December 27, 2009

If  I had a nickle for each time I’ve had a conversation,  about what can be done about this bit of bad luck we’re having with our government, I quite likely could buy a congressman or two of my own.  “Drunken second-graders could do a better job”, regularly comes to mind.

Let’s look at the normal list of  options of giving your two-cents to the your elected officials:

1.     The phone.  Been in every house since the rural electrification program, and you probably already know who pays for the phone on your congressman’s desk.  Possibly, he has more than one.  If you have recently made the effort to make that call,  in the mood to give him a piece of your mind, you probably got the same recording that everybody else gets.  The one that says, “Thank you for calling the office of  (your elected official).  Our message system is full.  Please call back at a later time.”  Click.  All of them started doing this after the last recess in August.  Angry times in August.

2.    The mail.  Fairly dependable and so cheap, the Post Office lost only $7 billion (with a B) last year delivering everyone’s  mail, including the mail your congressman may have sent to you asking for money, which you probably promptly tossed in the trash.  When you write, you may be one of the lucky few who get a nice friendly form letter back, more or less stating, “Thank you for your input.  We will now send you even more frequent letters asking for your financial support.”  Most people get nothing.  Did you  actually think they would make the time to tell you what they think of your views?  Maybe they just did.  You pay for his stamps too, you know.  Makes you angry sometimes.

3.    Town Hall Meetings.    One of the ways your congressman keeps in touch with “the little people” is the town hall meeting.  There may or may not be a public notification go out informing everyone when and where this meeting will take place.  There may or may not be a notification who is sponsoring the meeting.  You may or may not get a written invitation.  You may or may not have to pass thru a security check, a metal detector, have your driver’s license looked at and submit your written questions in advance.  And you may or may not get one of the few seats left over after “the important focus group members” get the good seats, next to all the microphones and cameras.  You may or may not be asked to leave your home-made signs outside, where there may or may not be some little guy trying to sell Gadsden flags is currently getting roughed up, just a bit.  I was advised not to take toast to throw at my congressman during a town hall meeting, as that could be considered assault.  “Yes, your Honor.  I did fully intend to knock my congressman’s brains out with a piece of healthy whole wheat toast.”  The point that would have been made, but not reported right on the  10 o’clock news, was that my congressman’s political career is toast because he no longer serves the interest of the people who elected him to represent them.  Unequivocal, clearly stated and a visual everybody would seize upon.  A man once threw a shoe at George Bush during a foreign press conference.  Yep, kind of like that.  Maybe the reason that there aren’t any more town hall meetings is because the politicians are afraid of us crazies with fully automatic assault toasters showing up.  We’re all angry types, you know.

4.    The personal touch.  You can always feel free to ask your congressman for a personal meeting.  His door is always open.  Well, except when it’s locked and the blinds are pulled and the local police show up after you’ve made them feel threatened by loitering outside the door and knocking for  five minutes.  Maybe you should have  called first.  Or perhaps mailed them a card.

So what’s that leave you as options, now that you fully realize that the politicians we have put in place are truly “off their leash”.  You clearly see now they have become the feral animal that was lurking in them all along.  You are just another meal that makes loud noises as you try to run away.

“What can I do?”

Wish I had a nickel…..


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